I Want a Faith Like That

Ok so the title isn't exactly "mine." I may have stolen it from a song by some muscularly armed Christian singer, but its true! In the Sunday School class that I have been teaching, we have been going though the book of Genesis. Now I know for many people when you think of an interesting subject to be studying, the first 5 books of the Bible don't exactly scream "EXCITEMENT!" However, I thought it would be a good idea to start in the beginning. There are a few students who have not really studied the Bible, or not for very long so it made sense. So we discussed Adam and Eve, Cain and Abel, Noah, and the Tower of Babel. For the last few weeks though we have been studying the life of Abraham. I have never been more amazed by this man than I have been in preparing for these lessons. Maybe the students are not getting anything out of my lessons but I sure am (which I do know is a problem and if they are not getting anything out of them I need to change something but the point is that I'm learning)!

Abraham was a man living comfortably in a city where everyone knew his name. By this time in history, the flood was no longer a big deal. It had come and gone, and people had gone back to what they were doing before, worshiping anything else than the God who created them. So Abraham in probably in a family business, associating with people he knew and loved. Then, one day, Abraham hears a voice. We are told that God speaks to Abraham (Abram at this time) and tells him that He will make Abram a great nation. He instructs Abram to leave his father's household and "go to a land I will show you." So naturally Abram sits back to think about finances, how this will affect others, if this request even makes sense.... ONLY NO! The next verse says "So Abram went forth as the Lord had spoken to him." Oh did I mention he was 75?! He's not some young pup who is itching to leave the house. This man has a life established, but because God instructed him to do something (not even a clear something) he gets up and leaves! Abraham goes on to cutting off his foreskin, talking with God to help save two cities, and almost sacrificing his son. He does all these things and we never find in these accounts where it says that his faith wavered. Actually in Hebrews 11 we find that Abraham actually believed God would resurrect his son if he killed him. Abraham had never seen anyone raised from the dead before. But he believed God so much when God told him that he would have a son and become a great nation that he could not believe anything else.

How amazing is that? Even when things got crazy and Abraham couldn't make sense of why God was doing what He was doing, Abraham believed Him. Sure there were a couple times when Abraham lied to save his skin (which was wrong) but the majority of the time Abraham's faith in the Almighty was unparalleled by any other example we are given. What would it look like in my life to have a faith like that? Would I be able to pack up and "go" if God told me to do so, even if he didn't say specifically where or even why? What would it look like for me to follow our amazing God through everything knowing that as long as I am following Him, He will take care of me? What does that even look like today? May we all find that kind of faith. May we all be transformed by the amazing saving grace of God through Jesus and be transformed into faithful followers, no matter what.

frustration abounds

AAHHHHH!!!!!! That's it. That's all I feel like screaming. The heart inside my chest feels as though it is being ripped right out. Someone has crushed through my ribs, grabbed hold of my heart, crushed it, and pulled it out. Of course that was only after kneeing me in the gut, pushing me over and repeatedly kicking me in the stomach while I lay there helpless. What makes this even worse is that it was done by a friend. This friend that I roomed with in college for 2 1/2 years. We even stayed together over part of a summer in Moberly. We told each other everything: dark secrets from our past, things that were bugging the crap out of us presently, our hopes and dreams, and the wonderful things that we have experienced. This man was my best friend. Sure we had our hard times, times where we would get upset with each other. One of us would do or say something stupid and that would cause some tension between us, but that is what happens in friendships, especially when you allow someone to get that close. But this... now... this is almost more than I can handle. I will go on with life, forgetting about how pressing of a matter it is, and then: WHAM! The memory hits me again and I am left on the ground in the fetal position, tears staining my face as I cry out to God. What happened? How did you get to this place in your life? Why can I not see the friendship repairing and you seeing what you are doing to your life?

You see, some of you (if anyone actually ever reads this lol) will not understand, but one of my friends has just recently decided he is gay. Not only has he decided he is gay but he continues to believe he is doing nothing wrong under the Christian world view. I have always known he has struggled with his sexuality. That is nothing new. I mean if I had the life he had, and dealt with the crap he has had to deal with, I would have struggled with my sexuality too (not that he will admit it now). He would share with me late at night about the struggle he was having with his flesh. The struggle to fight the strange urges he would have. He would weep over how difficult life would be at times, he would binge because life was so difficult. It was hard to see him like that, but I tried to be there, as much as he would let me. Sometimes he would pull away and would no longer talk with me. It hurt, but I understood. I tried to be there for him whenever he needed it. But now... now he is saying that he never even struggled at all. Now he is saying that he has always been the man he is. He is claiming that he lied to me those late nights as he cried and poured himself out to me! Not that I believe him. But it hurts to know that he is trying to take all of that back. To say that the very foundation of our friendship never even existed. That's just a kick in the place where you don't kick. He says he has always known he was gay, and although he really doesn't have Scripture to back up his point, he refuses to see his error. Romans 1:26-27 clearly does not deal with just having sex outside of marriage but he so desperately wants it to, that he has convinced himself that is what it means. He has given up the fight and has replaced it with what feels good. He has given up the marvelous light for the darkness. I am not one to say whether someone is a Christian or not, that is not my call. I will say that it is a dangerous place to be, to just throw Scripture out the door and believe what you want to instead of looking at the truth it reveals.

This situation has made me look into my own life. I never want to find myself living one way when Scripture is clearly telling me to live another. I never want for someone to point out the Truth of the Word of God and for me to turn my back and say "yeah well that's what you believe but I'm still going to live this way anyway." What a dangerous place to be. May God allow me to live in the light of His Word. May God expose my sin so that I do not live in it. We cannot live both in the darkness and the light. We cannot serve two masters. We cannot have two identities. Gay and Christian are two complete identities, eventually one will win out. Murderer and Christian are separate, Liar and Christian, anything that identifies us apart from Christ will separate us from Him.

Divorce

I have a 20 minute commute everyday to work. On these rides, instead of sitting in the car listening to the air rush in my windows because of the lack of A/C, I turn on the radio. But instead of listening to music today something else caught my ear. The two radio hosts were talking about divorce. Apparently there is a study being done that perhaps divorce is contagious. What spiked this conversation is a study that came to light after former Vice President Al Gore and his wife announced their divorce and then their oldest daughter separated from her husband. According to the article (found here: http://www.momlogic.com/2010/06/is_divorce_contagious.php) James H. Fowler has done a study and found that divorce among family or friends seems to greatly increase the chances of you getting a divorce. Now when somebody first hears this it may seem a little far fetched. Why would the divorce of someone close to you increase your chances of getting divorce? Isn't it ultimately the choice of each couple? But to rule out the fact that we are influenced by our surroundings is just not smart. On the radio show I was listening to on the way to work, the hosts thought this made perfect sense. I mean if you have a friend who is going through a divorce and now they are talking about all the freedom that they have, or all of the great times they are having now because they are not fighting, that would sound very appealing. Then there were the phone calls. People called in giving accounts about this very thing happening. One man said that within 3 months in his group of 6 couples all six of them got divorced! There were several other cases just like this. How crazy is it that divorce is now being grouped with other social behaviors that run through a group like speeding or a way of dressing?! This was something that just really pulled at my heart. Divorce is such a horrible thing. It destroys families and not just the immediate family. It tears apart friendships. Marriage is such a sacred and amazing God given gift. Sometimes we can forget how precious it is and we just rush into it or we don't respect it once we are in one. God loves marriage but hates divorce. If divorce is really so influential as to rush through a group like waters in a flood then we must be prepared. We must guard our marriages now before we are tempted to do the thing everyone is doing. We must build our marriages on God and let Him be the stronghold in all times. If we are in God's word together and applying it together. We must be in each others lives. There is no excuse to not know what your spouse has done all day, the two of you are one, communicate! Know what makes each other tick, what brings you joy and by what you are brought down. Also it helps a ton if you are not rushing off to your friends and sharing about all the bad things that your spouse has done (talking about stupid remarks not abuse, abuse should always be reported) but instead talking with your spouse about why it hurt. The conflicts will be resolved and your friends wont only hear the bad about your spouse and hate them. Let your love grow for one another now, and you will be able to take on the storm of the divorces around you and you will not fall.

Things are happening

Well it has been a little while since I have posted anything on here. I did those first four posts pretty quickly and then things just got busy I suppose. Break for school ended and I had to rush to get things done on time and make sure that I was not falling behind in my work. But I got everything for the semester done and I did pretty well in all of my classes. I am officially done with class for college. Four years have just flown by and somehow I have gone from being an incoming freshman to a man who has completed all four years (I still have to complete my internship requirements so I have not quite graduated yet). I greatly appreciate all that the professors and the rest of the staff at CCCB have done for me. I have learned so much and I truly believe they have enabled me to be prepared for full time ministry. Which brings me to what is going on now. June 1, 2010 I started at Cornerstone Christian Church in Bowling Green, MO as their full time Youth Leader. I could not be more excited! I was not expecting to come on full time at least for a while because of the small size of this congregation but God has provided! It has been amazing to work here these 2 weeks and be able to accomplish everything that I have. When you sit down and plan out your week in hour increments and stick to that schedule (except when something else that cannot wait comes up) I have found my time to be used for all that it is worth. I would really encourage anyone reading this to sit down and think about what you need to get done this week and plan it all out. It also helps to set some goals for yourself. What do you want done in the immediate future (today, this week, this month)? What do you want done in the near future (the end of the month though 6 months)? What do you want done farther out (7 months to a few years)? And even 5 years from now? It takes some time and some praying but it is an amazing tool that I believe God will use. That is the other thing. In making all of this up make sure you are consulting God. As Christians we should be seeking Him out every single day for our lives. There is no spot in our lives that we should not be abiding in Him. This is also very difficult and takes time and effort but the rewards are great! I have been learning all of these thing lately! Its really hard to not try to take complete control instead of letting God lead. I'm finding it especially hard in my relationship with my wife and with the upcoming birth of my child. I want to just lead, which as the head of the household I am supposed to do but I am to do it under Christ. Well I could keep going and going but I think that is all I wanted to say for today. Hopefully I write again a little sooner than this last gap I had.

Community

So for school we have chapel 2 times a week. It is pretty stinking amazing most of the time, especially since this is a worship service where I am not in charge of anything. Sometimes I like being able to listen to what other people have prepared. ANYWAY, the speaker we had on Tuesday had some things to say about service and worshiping. He was actually preaching from the story of Martha getting mad at Mary for sitting at Jesus' feet while she was doing things around the house (Luke 10:38-42). One of the things he said that I quickly wrote down on my had so I would remember to think about was "If community is our goal, then we have the wrong goal." In my mind I was thinking "whoa wait a minute! We have tons of books on community in the Church and small groups and all that! What do you mean community is not the goal?! Have you not read Acts 2?" As he continued talking and as I started to really think about it I saw that he was right. God must know I have a lot to learn about this subject because it was in our chapel, We discussed it in class today, and I have really been struggling with it. The speaker's point was that Jesus is our goal. Mary had the right attitude. She was sitting at the feet of Jesus, that was more important to her than anything else. She wanted to learn from the Man who had everything to teach. Mary was placing Jesus in the right spot in her life, something that many of us today struggle with. We have small groups, and we meet together with others not just so we can. The Church should not be some glorified country club. We have so much more to offer the world than just a close group of friends. Don't get me wrong it is super nice to have a close group of friends to go through life together but the point in the Church is that we are focusing on Jesus and working our way towards Him. As a body, or as a community we love Jesus, we place Him as number one in our lives and we let Him transform us through His Word and through His body. This last year at Bible college has been hard. Now that I am off campus, I feel so far removed from the group of people I had grown close to. I am no longer surrounded every part of the day by people who are working toward the same cause. It was that community, that close bond with other Christians that was so amazing and so helpful during hard times. We should strive to have community in our lives. Humans are designed for community. As Christians that is how the body of Christ works. Let us not remove ourselves from other Christians, let us work together as the body to come closer to the life that God has designed us for. Let us build each other up, and let us seek Him now and forever.

provision

It is absolutely amazing! Every time I start to think that things are out of control and that I have no idea what I am going to do God steps right in a provides. Of course He has been working all along I just have been too blind to see it (much like Balaam and his talking donkey). Jenny and I have been wondering what we should do. I need to do an internship in order to graduate from school but CCV did not work out and I could never get a hold of anyone else so I decided to stay at Bowling Green, which I was very excited about it because the thought of leaving there right now leaves me feeling uneasy. So we decide that this is what where God wants us but things still do not seem to line up. How am I supposed to do the ministry there in BG and have another job. I do not get paid near enough to support my wife and I let alone the baby that is coming in September! Then BAM! On Thursday Jim calls me and tells me of a mens group that may support us more if I go down on Monday and present the work that we have been doing at Cornerstone. He wants me to do this so that I can come on full time starting this summer and work there as long as both I want to and they want me to. AMAZING!! Then at the management team meeting yesterday the men decided that in June they want to bring me on full time and wrote up this great contract and everything! Starting in June I am going to be able to do full time ministry! There will be no other work to get in the way, I will be able to devote all my time to this great work God has placed in my life. I still cannot believe it! It is a huge answer to prayer. On top of that, in June the church wants to ordain me. God is working great things and I just hope that I can continue to follow Him more and more closely so that I can be apart of the things He has in store for me. This kind of thing just keeps right on happening, every time I start to wonder God reaffirms that He is in fact God and I am not!

"In Shape"

So I was sitting here on the internet and all of a sudden I realized I had been listening to two half hour infomercials about how to get in shape. They were pretty intense. Apparently even Marines wanted to use this workout, you know, because they are not in good enough shape already. It reminds me of a couple things. First, our society is so obsessed with how were are perceived. I cannot remember a time when there have not been commercials about exercises to get in shape or dieting programs that sweep the nation. The Atkins diet was pretty huge once, remember that? Now we have Jarred and Subway. But they are not the only ones trying to say you can get thin using their products. Taco Bell claims the same thing! TACO BELL! Everyone is trying to get in on this action. So our society wants us in shape to look great. The other thing it reminds me of is that Christians often do not care. Our bodies are temples of God, where the Holy Spirit dwells when we become Christians. It would be wrong for us to misuse that. As Christians, should we be allowing the world to push across a message that we should be sending? Is this another area we have slacked? The secular world is pushing the skinny agenda for simply image and often superficial reasons, unless they are doctors and are telling you that you may die if you don't change your living habits. But as Christians we have a reason to be taking care of ourselves. God loves us and takes care of us, and His Spirit dwells in us! As Christians we should be helping each other. We often talk about accountability, how many of us have accountability in our physical health part of our lives? I was reading Teaching to Change Lives and on page 31 Dr. Howard Hendricks is discussing giving our lives as teachers over to Christ and he begins to list areas of our lives that maybe we have not given to Christ. He says "How about your diet? If I scheduled a seminar at your church and then walked in drunk, you'd dismiss me immediately. But if I walked in fifty pounds overweight, you'd feed me more, right?" I'm not out to attack all the overweight people in the world. I'm simply stating that sometimes as Christians we overlook this one. We are to look out for our brothers and sisters right? I think that includes our physical life. You would not want someone to smoke themselves to death. I think we as the Church should be even more concerned about our health than non-Christians. This is not so we can be the most fit and best looking people on the planet, but rather because it is what God wants from us. We are to be stewards of everything He has blessed us with, and I believe that means taking care of our bodies the best that we can. Again I am guilty of this as well. Over the passed four years I have not been taking good care of myself, nor have I been helping others do the same. But over the passed 2 months I have been doing more to get myself back on track and if others are willing I want to help them as well. Just a thought.

starting out

I have been thinking about starting to blog for a while now. I had a blog once on xanga way back when and used it like 3 times, but that was back in the days of dial up internet at my parents house. I need to write more. I am at home a lot during the week. I sit around, maybe do some homework, do some cleaning and that's it. During the day I think about a lot of different things but I never write them down. I guess that is what I want to turn this blog into. This is a place where I can jot down all the things about which I think. Sometimes there may be no flow to my ideas, I have to write them as I think about them. So here goes #1

Today I was looking through my facebook contacts' statuses. I like doing this to see what is on everybody's mind, you know just to keep up in this busy fast paced world in which we live. I came across one of someone who is a Christian. Her status was about not understanding why people like to hurt others but don't worry because it would come back on them 10 times fold. I do not claim to know everything about the Bible but I am at a loss of where it says that. Then someone else commented and said something about it being Karma and it always comes back around. Well sure it does, in that kind of fake universe! Karma is not in control! God is! And yet this other person never said anything against it. How frustrating! Maybe when I write next time I will have found that verse in the Bible and I will have been proved wrong but until then I'm pretty upset with the ignorance of some Christians here in America. And again maybe I am the one that is ignorant but we have come to a point where we just have made being an American into the same thing as being a Christian. Being a Christian has no ethnic boundaries. It can be lived by all the peoples of the world, as long as they are following God's teaching that He has given to us in His word! But because as Americans we are not forced to memorize Scripture because we do not need it because nobody is really challenging our faith, because we don't really need to hide His word in our heart because we do not need its life changing message. We have just become comfortable. We fall into the same routine, and I'm not saying all routine is bad, but we get stuck there and do not continue to change, to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. How can we ever test and prove what God's wonderful will is for our lives? Of course I have just convicted myself. I think I am so upset about this because I have found myself going down that same path. It's me who really is becoming ignorant, who is leading the same routine and doing nothing but sitting on the couch everyday. I need to hide His word in my heart. It is me who needs to be transformed. I want to memorize Scripture so that I know it. That is my challenge to myself, to memorize a passage of Scripture this week and spend time mulling over it so that I can truly understand and be transformed by the Holy Spirit. This whole writing thing may be good for me. :)