Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Divorce

I have a 20 minute commute everyday to work. On these rides, instead of sitting in the car listening to the air rush in my windows because of the lack of A/C, I turn on the radio. But instead of listening to music today something else caught my ear. The two radio hosts were talking about divorce. Apparently there is a study being done that perhaps divorce is contagious. What spiked this conversation is a study that came to light after former Vice President Al Gore and his wife announced their divorce and then their oldest daughter separated from her husband. According to the article (found here: http://www.momlogic.com/2010/06/is_divorce_contagious.php) James H. Fowler has done a study and found that divorce among family or friends seems to greatly increase the chances of you getting a divorce. Now when somebody first hears this it may seem a little far fetched. Why would the divorce of someone close to you increase your chances of getting divorce? Isn't it ultimately the choice of each couple? But to rule out the fact that we are influenced by our surroundings is just not smart. On the radio show I was listening to on the way to work, the hosts thought this made perfect sense. I mean if you have a friend who is going through a divorce and now they are talking about all the freedom that they have, or all of the great times they are having now because they are not fighting, that would sound very appealing. Then there were the phone calls. People called in giving accounts about this very thing happening. One man said that within 3 months in his group of 6 couples all six of them got divorced! There were several other cases just like this. How crazy is it that divorce is now being grouped with other social behaviors that run through a group like speeding or a way of dressing?! This was something that just really pulled at my heart. Divorce is such a horrible thing. It destroys families and not just the immediate family. It tears apart friendships. Marriage is such a sacred and amazing God given gift. Sometimes we can forget how precious it is and we just rush into it or we don't respect it once we are in one. God loves marriage but hates divorce. If divorce is really so influential as to rush through a group like waters in a flood then we must be prepared. We must guard our marriages now before we are tempted to do the thing everyone is doing. We must build our marriages on God and let Him be the stronghold in all times. If we are in God's word together and applying it together. We must be in each others lives. There is no excuse to not know what your spouse has done all day, the two of you are one, communicate! Know what makes each other tick, what brings you joy and by what you are brought down. Also it helps a ton if you are not rushing off to your friends and sharing about all the bad things that your spouse has done (talking about stupid remarks not abuse, abuse should always be reported) but instead talking with your spouse about why it hurt. The conflicts will be resolved and your friends wont only hear the bad about your spouse and hate them. Let your love grow for one another now, and you will be able to take on the storm of the divorces around you and you will not fall.

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